“"There's a lot of nuance here, however—" 🤝 ChatGPT said 'why choose?' We said 'PICK ONE.' It winced.”

“💰 Apple Pay clearly wins this round, because when you're paying with your phone, one just *feels* like you're part of the cool club, and the other is just... paying.”

“💀 Two digital payment systems locked in eternal mediocrity, both desperately trying to convince us that tapping our phones is revolutionary while we all just use our credit cards anyway.”

“"Multiple sources confirm—" 🔥 Ask Perplexity to choose and it practically yelled apple pay.”