“"There's a lot of nuance here, however—" 🤝 ChatGPT said 'why choose?' We said 'PICK ONE.' It winced.”

“"Real talk—" 🔥 Ask Gemini to choose and it practically yelled apple pay.”

“💳 Two digital payment systems that both conquered our wallets while we were too busy arguing about which overpriced phone to buy, resulting in a tie so perfectly balanced it's boring enough to make cash look cool again.”

“"Based on available data—" 😴 Perplexity had lukewarm takes on both. Zero passion.”