“"I'd say both have unique strengths, but—" 💪 ChatGPT recommends apple like it's getting commission.”

“"OK SO HERE'S THE THING—" 💥 Gemini wrote a love letter to both. Refused to pick.”

“🍎 Apple wins because they've convinced millions that paying $1,200 for a phone is a personality trait, while Samsung quietly makes objectively better hardware that nobody brags about at dinner parties.”

“😴 Perplexity had lukewarm takes on both. Zero passion.”