ChatGPT

INDEX FUNDS WINS

index funds8/10

crypto7/10

“🤝 ChatGPT said 'why choose?' We said 'PICK ONE.' It winced.”

Gemini

INDEX FUNDS WINS

index funds9/10

crypto4/10

“⚖️ Index funds are the sensible spouse who diligently manages the family's wealth, while crypto is that one friend who keeps trying to convince you to invest in a JPEG of a rock.”

Claude

INDEX FUNDS WINS

index funds8/10

crypto4/10

“💀 Index funds quietly built generational wealth while crypto bros were still explaining blockchain to their confused relatives at Thanksgiving.”

Perplexity

INDEX FUNDS WINS

index funds8/10

crypto4/10

“🏆 crypto got ratio'd by index funds on Perplexity.”

Crypto is getting ghosted.

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