“🤝 ChatGPT said 'why choose?' We said 'PICK ONE.' It winced.”
Gemini
INDEX FUNDS WINS
index funds9/10
crypto4/10
“⚖️ Index funds are the sensible spouse who diligently manages the family's wealth, while crypto is that one friend who keeps trying to convince you to invest in a JPEG of a rock.”
Claude
INDEX FUNDS WINS
index funds8/10
crypto4/10
“💀 Index funds quietly built generational wealth while crypto bros were still explaining blockchain to their confused relatives at Thanksgiving.”
Perplexity
INDEX FUNDS WINS
index funds8/10
crypto4/10
“🏆 crypto got ratio'd by index funds on Perplexity.”
Crypto is getting ghosted.
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