“🔥 Joovv glows in the niche corner of wellness, but Therabody punches well above its weight class in hype and ubiquity.”

“💅 One shines bright on the main stage, while the other is still trying to convince us the red light isn't just a fancy nightlight.”

“🔴 Joovv's red light therapy is basically expensive mood lighting for people who think they're biohacking when they're really just standing in the dark like a vampire afraid of the sun, while Therabody's massage guns at least have the decency to make noise about their existence.”

“🏆 Perplexity can't stop talking about joovv.com. therabody.com who?”