“😴 ChatGPT barely knows either of you exist. Sad.”

“🙄 eBay might be a dusty old relic, but Mercari is still just trying to figure out how to operate a garage sale.”

“🎭 Mercari showed up to the resale party with TikTok energy and mobile-first swagger, but eBay's been collecting our digital junk since before most of us had smartphones—experience and cultural inertia are one hell of a drug.”

“💀 Perplexity has ghosted both of you. Neither brand registers.”