“"There's a lot of nuance here, however—" 💀 ChatGPT's enthusiasm for both: a resounding 'meh.'”

“😤 Gemini went back and forth 47 times. convenience barely survived.”

“🎭 Privacy scored a respectable 7, but convenience absolutely obliterated it like your browser history—mostly because humanity collectively chose to trade their digital souls for faster shipping and infinite scrolling.”

“"Multiple sources confirm—" 😴 Perplexity had lukewarm takes on both. Zero passion.”