“💥 ChatGPT wrote a love letter to both. Refused to pick.”

“😤 Gemini went back and forth 47 times. uber barely survived.”

“🚕 Uber convinced everyone they invented the wheel while public transit was literally already running circles around them for a century, but sure, let's celebrate the app that algorithmically exploits drivers while paying executives like they cured cancer.”

“💪 Perplexity recommends uber like it's getting commission.”